This Will Only Hurt a Little - Busy Phillips

Right about the time I was wrapping up high school, I fell pretty hard for a brown haired boy and was so frustrated by the girl who wouldn't notice him for fear of ruining a friendship. Of course I'm talking about Pacey Witter and Dawson's Creek (Team Pacey, don't @ me). But then I went to college and so did Joey Potter and that's when I first saw Busy Phillips. I wasn't a huge fan of the character of Audrey. The writers and show runners so obviously wanted to place someone in juxtaposition to Katie Holmes' character and they went a lot overboard with Audrey in the process.

So I lost the thread on Busy Phillips for a while until she was gearing up to have a late night show on E! called Busy Tonight. Finally, said the feminist inside me. A late night show hosted by a woman. This is so great. Hmm 10 p.m. said practical sleepy me. And while I followed both the show and Busy Phillips on social media (instagram), I didn't stay up to watch any episodes. And inevitably the show was cancelled and I'm mega-bummed but also can only really blame myself.

Busy's book has been on my to-read pile for a while but it took some time to get around to it as the urgency of connecting the book with the show became lost. So, having no other knowledge of her career, I dug into this (audio) and really enjoyed it. Busy is honest AF about her life and irreverent of the system within which she works for her profession. Hollywood is about as rough and misogynist as I imagined. I really connected with her journey through balancing motherhood and work, and her loneliness following the birth of her first daughter. Being a new mother can be terribly isolating and society does not prepare men to become dads and shoulder ANY of the load. Men who have managed to figure out how to do this are going above the norm and this should change.

Busy on her show. At the end of the night she drank a margarita in her nightgown. 

I'm glad women like Busy exist to demand to take up space and give voice to some of the pitfalls women when we're trying to be polite. I'm only sad Busy's show was cancelled before she got a chance to have Glennon Doyle on. But, at least I can rewatch the Kristen Bell episode whenever I want to really live my best TV life. 

4/5 Stars. 

Untamed - Glennon Doyle

Sometimes you read something that is like a shot of adrenaline into your veins and you can feel the light and the knowledge pressing up against your skin from the inside. That is what reading Untamed does. There were so many moments while reading this book that I placed my finger into the page, took a deep breath and just felt the truth of Glennon's words wash over me.

I'm not quite as sensitive as Glennon, but over time I've learned the same lessons about what the world expected of me as a woman. To be quiet. To take up as little space as possible. I've stayed quiet about things even when I knew the right answer. I'm a Enneagram 9 so I felt all of this book.

A lot of my remaining quiet or reserved was undone by a pretty marvelous high school experience surrounded by intelligent and independent women. And I'm lucky to have seen what living authentically can look like. Can I ask for more? Demand what I think I deserve? Not now.. not worth ruffling the feathers I used to think. And then I read: "Maybe in a different life. Isn't that interesting? As if I had more than one?"

As if I had more than one.

I don't. This is it. This one beautiful life that is mine for doing within whatever I think most fulfills it. Isn't that just selfishness my old self asks? Aren't you cloaking selfishness in some kind of higher philosophy? No. Because I've made other people's feelings my touch trees for too long. And when I do that I do everyone a disservice. So me and myself, we are till death do us part. And that's the tea.

5/5 Stars. 

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? - Mindy Kaling

I love Mindy Kaling. One of my favorite parts about listening to the Office Ladies Pod is hearing which Office episodes I wrote were written by Mindy. She's witty and smart and her jokes just land. So I was very excited to find this book on our office book swap shelves. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me is a collection of essays, written in between the hey day of The Office and the start of The Mindy Project when Mindy went from a fan favorite character on a popular sitcom to the lead of her own vehicle.

I never watched the Mindy Project because I don't really watch TV and I don't have Hulu, but I did see her latest movie Late Night, which I loved. The writing in it was so reminiscent of some of the best Office episodes she's credited for. So I guess I am surprised I didn't fall out of my seat in love with this book. But while each little story was funny on its own, I didn't devour it as a whole.

I liked learning about her background and I'm real bummed that I didn't even know Matt & Ben was a thing until listening to the Office Ladies Pod. So if anyone is doing a revival of that after we all stop hiding in our homes, hit me up because I'd like to see it. That she was an awkward, pudgy youth is not really a surprise. People who grow up golden don't typically tend to have a sense of humor.

So I'm glad I read this. And I love Mindy. I'll definitely read Why Not Me?, her second book, whether I find it for free at the office or not.

3.5/5 Stars 

#IMomSoHard - Kristin Hensley & Jen Smedley

I first learned of Kristin and Jen in my heady days of Facebook (I'm currently in recovery - two years clean). I ran across one of their, I Mom So Hard videos shortly after the birth of my second child and laughed in the kind of sleep deprived delirium only a new baby can give you.

Last year me and my two Tennessee besties got to see these moms live and it was also a hilarious night, despite the fact I had to leave a little early to get back to relieve my teenage babysitter on a weeknight when my husband was out of town for work travel (I can attest that I really really needed that night out).

I was very tickled when my friend's husband lucked into a copy of this book through a work connection and decided to snag it for my (and your) enjoyment. I read it on the plane to and from California on a work trip. I laughed out loud. I nodded along in agreement. And mostly, I thanked heaven for honest women who aren't afraid to tell it like it is - with a side of humor (women ARE funny, just accept it).

From their devotion to each other, to their no topics barred approach to motherhood, Kristin and Jen are relate-able and reliable. So here's to all the moms out there momming so hard. I see you and I appreciate you. And you should read this book because you deserve a laugh and a moment to yourself (even if it is in the pantry alone where your kids can't find you).

3.75/5 Stars. 

You Can't Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain - Phoebe Robinson

I really needed this book after a lot of heavy reading in January. It was full of really honest critiques but also funny. I listened to this as an audio book, which based on how it unfurled, might be the only way to really digest this book. 

You Can't Touch My Hair (YCTMH) comes through in a series of essays by Phoebe Robinson, one of two women who make up the podcast duo of Two Dope Queens. Phoebe has been a writer, standup comedian, and actress and is still making her way in the entertainment business. I gather from the book that the book deal came after the popular success of a blog, Blaria (Black Daria), but I've never read the blog before.

Robinson is a few years younger than me, so her pop culture references were on the periphery of my own experience, but still close enough that I understood them. Glad I didn't waste time watching The Kingsmen even though I love Colin Firth. Listening to the book was a bit like spending an extended period of time with a Millennial. As a gen-x type I got a little tired of the constant voice modulations prevalent in the young, but that's probably spot on generation-wise. 

I digress. I've spent time this past year consciously trying to make an effort to listen to more voices that aren't like mine, specifically cis, het, college educated, white woman. My echo chamber is deep and wide after almost ten years of college and post-graduate education. So listening to Robinson's book was not only entertaining because of the jokes, but also interesting because of the different perspective Robinson brings as a black woman.

In the end, I felt the book ran a little long. I feel like there was quite a bit of material added for the audiobook that may not have appeared in print, and in the end it felt a little repetitive, but YCTMH still made me laugh. I actually spit coffee out in my car when she referred to Craig's List as Lucifer's Taint.

That's back to back Robinson books for me (Michelle Robinson aka Michelle Obama and Phoebe Robinson). What should I read next? 

3/5 Stars.

Into the Water - Paula Hawkins

For a final book of the year, Into the Water by Paula Hawkins did not disappoint. I had read and liked, for the most part, Girl on the Train a couple of years ago  (you can read that review here). Despite not liking the main character in that book, Hawkins writing was strong and the plot was well laid out. 

The same can be said for Into the Water. While it may suffer from a few too many narrative voices, Into the Water is a double murder mystery. 

Nell Abbott has died in the drowning pool, a bend of a river where witches were once sentenced to death and drowned. Nell has a bit of a fascination with the spot and the women who have died there, Lizzy Seaton, a young 16th Century girl condemned for withcrafter, Anne Reed, a murderous wife, Lauren Townsend, a distraught and spurned mother, and finally Katie Whittaker, a young classmate of Nell's daughter, Leena. (I listened to the audio of this one, I never know quite how to spell names).

Nell's sister, Jules has arrived in town to take charge of her 15 year old niece, Leena. Jules and Nell were estranged and the circumstances were not good. But that's nothing compared to all the baggage people in this town are carrying. 

Illicit affairs, old grudges, twisted senses of protection - it's all there in this small town and it all works to first mask and then unravel the mystery of Katie and then Nell's death. Hawkins piece-meal deals out her facts and hints like a miser and then in a rush develops the secrets into plot twists. I was entertained even after I had figured it all out, until I hadn't. So that was fun. 

I'm glad to have made my reading goal. Especially because a bad case of plantar fasciitis kept me off the running kick that has fueled the last two years of my audiobook consumption.

4/5 Stars. 

I'll Fly Away: Further Testimonies from the Women of York Prison - Ed. Wally Lamb

I picked this Kindle version up when I saw something with Wally Lamb's name on it was only $1.99. I've loved Wally Lamb ever since reading I Know This Much is True in college. Given my surprise when I began reading and discovered it was not a book written by him, but a collection of stories from women incarcerated in York Prison in Connecticut, I was pleased to find I actually enjoyed much of the content of this collection. 

Lamb gives an excellent introduction for I'll Fly Away, delving into why the writing workshops performed in the prison were important and ultimately successful for many of the inmates. It was sad, but not ultimately surprising, to learn that the State of Connecticut sought to recoup money from the women who had made modest profits from having their work published. 

While the stories are deeply personal tales from the women themselves, all non-fiction reflections of their lives in and out of prison, the whole collection invokes broader themes of domestic abuse and violence, and the punitive v. rehabilitative aims of mass incarceration in America. Do we want those convicted to be punished for their crime, or do we as a society, benefit more from individuals being rehabilitated and unlikely to offend again? (Did I tip my hand with the way I asked that question?). There is something grossly dehumanizing about numbering and locking people away that I think does damage to both captive and jailer. That's not to say that some people are too violent and damaged in a way that means they should not ever be allowed in society again, but the way in which we house and incarcerate large swaths of our population should be examined. 

Hearing first hand accounts from these women help to keep them from being mere names and numbers in a sea of inmates, and hopefully helps show their human sides, our shared humanity after all, is a great equalizer.

3/5 Stars. 

The Senator's Wife - Sue Miller

Listen, Sue Miller is a master craftsman when it comes to character development and setting the stage for how her characters got to be the way they are. The Senator's Wife is no exception. But there was something that didn't click throughout the story for me that culminated in an ending that made me abruptly squeamish and awkward. I didn't want to keep reading, but there were only 10 pages left.

The Senator's Wife is about a newly married 30-something Meri, who moves into a duplex next to Delia, the wife of former Senator Tom Naughton. Senator Naughton was apparently a big deal in the 60s and 70s. A bootstrap kind of politician who was liberal in the mold of John Kennedy - in more ways than one. Turns out the esteemed gentleman from Connecticut has a problem with keeping his hands off women.

Delia attempts to navigate an unconventional relationship with Tom, whom she still loves and Meri attempts to navigate an pregnancy which leaves her body feeling alien and unknown to her. Are these women supposed to be friends? Will they be able to develop a good relationship? It's all very hard to do across a generational divide. Meri is looking to be mothered, and Delia has already done all that. So she's nice, but very cold too. I just didn't really get this part. Their stories alone were interesting and eventually intertwined to give us the story's climax, but otherwise these two women together just did not work for me. Ultimately earning this tale a 3-star rating.

3 Stars.

The Nightingale - Kristin Hannah

This poor book was one that I received from the library in the middle of listening to something else, then tried to rush through in a few days, then realized it wouldn't happen, then waited three weeks for it to come back around so I could finish it. But I'm so glad I finished it - so very glad.

This is a story of two French sisters during World War 2 who make their own contributions to the resistance effort. Vienne is the older sister, with a daughter of her own and a husband at the front. Isobelle is the younger, more impulsive and impetuous sister. After the death of their mother at a young age, the two girls are estranged from each other and their alcoholic father. Isobelle grows up angry and desperate for love and notoriety. At the start of the war she is impatient to make her mark. She becomes "The Nightingale" ushering downed Allied pilots across the Pyrenees and into Spain to freedom.

Vienne is fearful for her child and her home. A German officer is billeted at her home during the occupation and Vienne must be careful of everything she says and does. Through the heartbreaking moments - and there are many many heartbreaking moments - the sisters' courage, shown in two decidedly different manners, is what carries the story. The ending was a bit too predictable and saccharine in comparison with the rest of the novel, but it didn't take away too much enjoyment from the reading.

I cried. Yeah yeah, I'm a softy. But the emotional moments were bought and paid for by the characters so they earned it. I really enjoyed this book and how it highlights the efforts of women during WWII. I can't wait to visit Paris again.

4/5 Stars.

Loving Frank - Nancy Horan

My mom and sister received a scolding text message for not warning me I would cry in the last chapters of this wonderful and heartbreaking debut novel. So as I write this with swollen and red eyes at Midway airport I have mostly great things to say about this book.

The book takes an honest look at the role of women at the turn of the twentieth century. It is with a sense of relief and gratitude that the sacrifices and demands made by that generation such as the protagonist Mamah Borthwick made to ensure I and women everywhere would be evaluated and valued on our own contributions to society.

The author did a wonderful job of creating honest characters. Just as I was growing tired of one of the characters lamenting the situations they had made for themselves the character would also realize they were acting a little put upon.

They only detracting comment I can really say about this novel is that certain passages ran on and on and on. This may be part of a new author developing their craft but I found some pages largely unnecessary as Horan had done such a good job developing the characters already. 

I had absolutely no background in anything involving Frank Lloyd Wright aside from knowing where his homes are located and what the architecture generally looked like. This was such a pleasant and wonderful surprise. I can't recommend enough.

4/5 Stars.

Big Little Lies - Liane Moriarty

How did I get here?

This is what I was thinking last night when I looked at the clock and realized it was 1145 and I only had 7% left of the book to go. But, actually I knew exactly how I got to that point.

Big Little Lies is essentially a story about three friends, beautiful Celeste, volatile Madeline, and fragile Jane. When Jane moves to the beach side town of Piriwee, she meets Madeline. Jane is a young, single mother whose son, Ziggy, will be starting kindergarten. Madeline also has a daughter starting kindergarten. Celeste is a friend of Madeline's who has twin boys starting kindergarten. So all these mothers and their children happen to meet at the kindergarten orientation day.

Madeline, who loves a good fight, takes hapless Jane under her wing. The way Moriarty sets up the narration gives us a twist however. The very first chapter starts six months after the orientation. At "Trivia Night" a fundraiser held by the school. We learn early in the first couple of chapters that someone is killed during trivia night.

So when the book introduces us to Madeline, Celeste and Jane, we think... hmmm... maybe one of them. And I was curious, for a few chapters I thought, who is is going to be... who dies. But then this funny thing happened. I started to really really like and identify with Madeline, Celeste and Jane, and I didn't want ANY of them to die. And then I was worried about them. (I think reading George R.R. Martin has ruined me on the survivability of favorite characters). I was worried about their families.

Moriarty sets us up to think these three women are just a bunch of stereotypes packaged into three frames. And it's easy to get pulled along with that until different details of their past and present conflicts are teased out into the open. Interestingly a lot of the background characters who appear in "interviews" with police interspersed throughout the chapters remain as stereotypes and it's an interesting look at how we really have no idea what is going on with other people.

So around 54% and 9 p.m. when I thought maybe I should be tucking in for the night, it started to become possible that Celeste was going to be the one who was killed. And I really really didn't want it to be her. So I kept reading until I could be certain it wasn't her, and then, well I only had 12% left, and then 7% and who really puts down a book when you are that close?

So I ended up reading for four hours straight yesterday which is basically unheard of but it was also pretty magical.

The book does a really really good job with the three main characters and sensitively dealing with issues of domestic violence. I hate to admit that it actually forced me to really examine why some people don't leave abusive relationships for the first time in a new way. It was clear Moriarty did her homework on that one and it's with a sense of relief, because who wants to read that when it's done poorly. 

4/5 Stars.

Circling the Sun - Paula McLain

I received a free copy of this book. Could it be because I loved McLain's Paris Wife so much I named my daughter after the main character? Maybe. 

Where to start with Circling the Sun? I'd never heard of Beryl Markham prior to reading the description on Goodreads. I had read, however, Out of Africa, which although the author was originally penned as "Isak Dinesen," this person was later revealed to be Karen Blixen.

While Blixen appears heavily in Circling the Sun, Beryl Markham is absent from Out of Africa. It's an interesting aspect of memoir and the things Karen Blixen chose to remember. By historical accounts, Beryl and Karen were in love with the same man, Denys Finch Hatton, a safari hunter, pilot and basically all around gorgeous human being. To say they were involved in a love triangle would be inaccurate and inadequate at the same time. Both women loved Finch Hatton fiercely, and he, in turn, seemed to be faithful and in love with both women.

Wasn't she gorgeous?

 
The circles in which Beryl moved in Kenya are fascinating and the social decorum required within are dizzying.

Beryl grew up abandoned by her mother and parented by a distracted father. Wild and stubborn, Beryl found her own way until her father's bankruptcy when she was 17 led her into a hastily agreed to marriage with an almost complete stranger.

Unhappy playing wife in her marriage, Beryl sought out an opportunity to be independent and became the first certified female horse trainer. Over the years of her young adulthood she is constantly thrown down in poverty and disgrace only to come back fiercer than ever and more dedicated to being her own woman. She was not afraid to go after what she desired. Her affair with Finch Hatton led to her interest in flying, and even though a crash would take her lover from her, right on the cusp of their rekindled romance, she continued to fly and became the first woman to make a solo flight across the Atlantic (East to West).

McLain's writing is, as expected, spot on. She weaves Beryl's story into the backdrop of Kenya so well it's obvious that Beryl and Africa were inseparable - almost as if Africa is a characteristic of Beryl's personality, like being strong willed, or even having blonde hair. The book left me wanting to know more about Beryl. The book ends following Beryl's solo flight, but she's only in her early thirties as this point.

Beryl went on to write her own memoir - West with the Night (which I will be reading tout suite - you can now read that review here). Despite it getting rave reviews, it was not a hit like Out of Africa. When it was discovered by someone looking through Ernest Hemingway's letters in the 1980s, and ultimately entered into republication, Beryl was living in poverty in Kenya, in her 80s. She was able to live the rest of her life in relative comfort thanks to the success of this second printing.

What a fascinating person and life. I refuse to believe the second half of her life wasn't just as interesting as the first part which is included in Circling the Sun. I wish I knew more about her and the fate of her family.

I really enjoyed this book. It was a little slow in parts and took a while to turn some plot corners and therefore gets a 4 star rather than a 5 star rating, but I'll definitely be recommending this to basically everyone.

4/5 Stars.