Loving Our Kids on Purpose - Danny Silk

This book made my heart happy. I read Peaceful Parent Happy Kids earlier this year (you can read that review here) and this book was a good follow up to that one. I first heard the book mentioned on a blog I follow (tinygreenelephants.com) and was interested because the blog author always seems to have a sweet understanding of her children's needs and I was interested in where she found inspiration. Plus, my momma heart needed a refresher after a rather difficult week with the kids. Nothing special or unique had happened, but the daily battle for moving kids from one task to the next had really started to wear on me. 

The book is short, and I should add, written from a very Christian perspective. There is reference to quite a bit of scripture in there and perhaps this would make the book unappealing to some. But the core message is heartening. 

You cannot control your kids. If you try, you will damage your relationship with them.

It really is that simple. I thought about all the relationships I have in my life and tried to pick out one, just one that was based in control. None of them are. None. So what am I trying to do with my kids? Why do I feel the need to control all their actions and behaviors? I can't do that. What I can do is offer them choices, and if needed, consequences - those will help to shape who they are and the choices they will make later on when their world becomes larger. 

Danny Silk makes a point to say, that while your children are young, yes you can control them with your anger, with the threat of violence, but what do you do when they get older, and actually have some power to defy you? Would you rather rely on your relationship, and their love for you to guide their decisions. I think this is a pretty easy question. I had wished the book was a bit longer with more examples and probably some kind of quick visual guide to remember all the salient points - I probably just should have taken notes.

So, I charge on in this parenting thing, trying to keep in mind that I don't control these two tiny, perfect humans I have made, but instead, when I ask them for the 90th time in the morning to put their shoes on, this time I may just be able to offer them a choice, put your shoes on now, or take them in the care and put them on at school? Both options, it turns out, I can live with.

4/5 Stars.