Midnight in Chernobyl: The Untold Story of the World's Greatest Nuclear Disaster - Alex Higginbotham

I was five years old when the Chernobyl nuclear disaster occurred so let's just say that I didn't really follow the story at all. But throughout my childhood I was aware of the accident. Perhaps through follow up stories of the remaining radiation or the ghost town of Pripyat. In any case, I thought I knew what happened there. Nuclear reactor meltdown, radiation fall out. Some kind of heroics of fireman. End story.

I actually love finding out I'm insufficiently informed - woefully ignorant. It's such a joy to learn new things. But Midnight in Chernobyl tore my understanding down and showed that the reality of the disaster was so much worse than I could have imagined.

Do I now understand nuclear physics? Not even a little but. But this book does an excellent job of walking the reader through some painfully complex science so that when the explosion finally occurs around chapter 7, you are well and painfully aware of just how easily this accident happened and you're just as surprised it didn't happen earlier and all over the Soviet Union.

That this accident could only have happened how it happened, when it happened, and how it was responded to in the Soviet Union cannot be understated. From the attempts to protect reputation, to oversell quotas and timelines, to the blind adherence to authority over safety, this disaster snowballed out of control and then only through the essential sacrifice of bodies was it contained.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/moving_to_Chernobyl

The true extent of the loss and fall out will never be known (mostly because the government didn't want to have to tell anyone), but the human toll is overwhelming and obvious from the pages of this book. Every chapter brought some knew horror of response and loss. At times I just needed to take a break and walk away from the staggering details. I definitely want to read this again as I think there is just more to be gleaned from a second reading.

5/5 Stars.

#IMomSoHard - Kristin Hensley & Jen Smedley

I first learned of Kristin and Jen in my heady days of Facebook (I'm currently in recovery - two years clean). I ran across one of their, I Mom So Hard videos shortly after the birth of my second child and laughed in the kind of sleep deprived delirium only a new baby can give you.

Last year me and my two Tennessee besties got to see these moms live and it was also a hilarious night, despite the fact I had to leave a little early to get back to relieve my teenage babysitter on a weeknight when my husband was out of town for work travel (I can attest that I really really needed that night out).

I was very tickled when my friend's husband lucked into a copy of this book through a work connection and decided to snag it for my (and your) enjoyment. I read it on the plane to and from California on a work trip. I laughed out loud. I nodded along in agreement. And mostly, I thanked heaven for honest women who aren't afraid to tell it like it is - with a side of humor (women ARE funny, just accept it).

From their devotion to each other, to their no topics barred approach to motherhood, Kristin and Jen are relate-able and reliable. So here's to all the moms out there momming so hard. I see you and I appreciate you. And you should read this book because you deserve a laugh and a moment to yourself (even if it is in the pantry alone where your kids can't find you).

3.75/5 Stars. 

If Beale Street Could Talk - James Baldwin

There's a terrifying sense of stillness woven into the pages of If Beale Street Could Talk. There is no momentum even as the characters change in ways that defy the inertia of the overall plot. You want, you beg, the story to move forward. To find out if Tish is able to save Fonny from a script that every person in the story seems to have already read.

You see, nineteen year old Tish is trying desperately to save her fiance Fonny from the legal system. A system that allowed, well encouraged, a policeman to frame and arrest Fonny for a brutal rape of a woman he'd never met. Fonny's real crime was standing up to this policeman on another day, at another time, in a way that stripped the policeman of his power. And when it comes down to it, the policeman remains intent on righting this "wrong" and showing Fonny who really has the power.

So a newly pregnant Tish must grapple with the hefty price, both emotionally and in cash money, of trying to free Fonny from the system. The gross injustice of his plight makes it no cheaper. The chance for a "speedy trial" ingrained in our constitution is not enough. The efforts of Tish's entire family are not enough. The fact that Tish's mother is willing to travel to Puerto Rico to visit the victim (a victim in many ways - including being used as a pawn against Fonny) isn't enough.

The ripple of injustice courses up and down the generations of both Tish and Fonny's families as we wait and wait and wait for anything to change the circumstances. We wait as Fonny waits, as time warps and seems to lose it's meaning.

Because the lack of pacing in the book, the utter stagnation, is the thing that makes this a very uncomfortable read but also is the essence of the book itself.

4/5 Stars.

Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators - Ronan Farrow

If I didn't know Ronan Farrow was a real person I would swear this was a work of brilliant fiction. That Catch and Kill involves real people and the lengths to which slime balls go to protect their reputation and their brotherhood of slime balls is shocking, disheartening, maddening, and disgusting.

Apparently the fact that Harvey Weinstein was a misogynistic, predatory a-hole was a well known "secret" in Hollywood (that's code for if someone makes enough money they can really get away with anything). Typically he would walk over women, assault women, be pushy with women, and anyone who got sideways of his endeavors found themselves without movie scripts, production offers, etc. But because he held the purse strings, employed people, promoted people, created stars, people looked the other way. People who couldn't were shown the exit door and asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement. This isn't right. It's certainly not justice.

So when Ronan started following a lead that became a story that became an avalanche, an entire system was put into motion to try to stop the reporting. Men whose conscience balked under the weight of similar allegations, organizations worried about their own internal practices around predators. This led to international security firms following Ronan to out his sources (sorry Jonathan that you were too boring to follow, it's adorable).

I deeply appreciated the vulnerability and empathy Ronan showed throughout and that he didn't shy away how the reporting affected him as a person. He focused on sources and facts to remain objective but also let himself feel the way he felt when the facts and evidence laid bare the truth. Our country is better for this kind of reporting, and for Harvey Weinstein and the men (and women) who believed their power, prestige, and money would allow them to get away with this heinous behavior to be held accountable.

Also, I would read any book that has a cameo by Pundit. 

5/5 Stars. 

A Quiet Flame - Philip Kerr

There's a very thick thematic feeling that drapes itself over these Bernie Gunther novels and A Quiet Flame is no exception. When we last left Bernie Gunther, he was boarding a boat for Argentina in the un-esteemed company of Adolf Eichmann. Having eluded summary execution by an Israeli hit squad, Gunther is happy to be alive, even if he is using a borrowed name and identity.

Upon arrival in Argentina, his alter-ego's status as a former doctor gets him hauled before Juan Peron himself. In giving up his true identity to save himself from medical entanglement, Bernie finds himself recruited in another direction. It appears a teenage girl has been kidnapped and Bernie has both the detective skills and former-SS pedigree to find her.

Having been hired by the Argentinian secret police, Bernie sets about interviewing his old comrades in an attempt to find someone capable of kidnapping and murdering a teenager. This leads him to finally solve a similar case he worked on in 1932, before Hitler became Chancellor and the country well and truly started on a path to annihilation. In the meantime, an Jewish-Argentinian bombshell asks for help finding some missing Jewish relatives who were rounded up after entering the country illegally.

With acerbic wit and dark humor, Bernie ping pongs his way through one hypocritical situation to the next. No one is unscathed, even himself and he comes to terms with the enormity of the German collective crime, and his part in it.

Having very little historical knowledge of this time in Argentina (I haven't even watched the Evita movie) I found the plot here terribly fascinating. Excuse me while I go scour the bowels of Wikipedia until my curiosity is satiated. And really, bowels is an appropriate word when it comes to the figures involved in these stories.

4/5 Stars

An American Marriage - Tayari Jones

A few things about me. I'm a Libra. I like balance. I like when everyone gets along. I want people in love to stay in love. I want people who fall out of love to consciously uncouple. I like to pick sides. I like when the side I pick is right and honest and fair. I like to root for someone. I want the person I root for to be worthy or principled. So in comes this book and it made me deeply uncomfortable because I couldn't fall into the patterns I like.

Roy and Celestial are married. They had a rocky romance and have had a rocky first year of marriage. On their anniversary, they visit a local hotel where Roy's mother worked when she was pregnant with Roy. He intends to tell Celestial that his father, Big Roy, is his father in love and name, but not in blood. And Celestial, who is feeling out of place with Roy's intense mother, is not having it. So they get in a fight. And then they make up. But when another guest at the hotel is raped, Roy is blamed and gets sentenced to jail.

The next few chapters are told through letters back and forth between Celestial and Roy, in which we see their marriage start to break down under the strain of their circumstance. By the time Roy's mother dies, Celestial is certain she doesn't want to be an inmate's wife anymore, and her childhood friend, Andre, becomes more than a friend. When Celestial tells Roy she can no longer be his wife, Roy gives her the cold shoulder.

Two years later, Celestial's wealthy parents have continued to fund Roy's appeals which are successful and Roy is released from prison. Having not spoken to Celestial in two years, he doesn't know where their marriage stands. Boo Celestial, she's left him behind and moved on with the next warm man, not staying true to her husband even though he encouraged and inspired the work that has made her so successful. I'm team Roy all the way at this point. Until.... dammit Roy, he gets released and spends two days in the bed of a local woman. THEN he goes to his wife.

And while he's driving to Celestial, we learn that he wasn't faithful to her during their first year of marriage. Well NOW I'm team Celestial because Roy is a dog. And Andre... well I see him as a usurper, until he asks, "Don't I deserve to be happy?" You know, people asking honest questions is hard to fight. So now we have a very messy triangle, which is not a triangle at all but a circle of Celestial and Andre with Roy on the outside. I do feel bad for Roy. His entire life has been thrown off track and messed up. And for what?

Ultimately the book asks big questions about how we move on and make something of our circumstances, as unfair as they are, and what we do with the expectations of the older generations. There is enough unfairness to go around in this book that everyone gets sprinkled. I thought it was well written and I listened to the audio and I really enjoyed the narrators.

4/5 Stars. 

Black and Blue - Anna Quindlen

October is apparently Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I was unaware, but I'm glad I did read this book and the light it shines on issues of domestic violence. I think Anna Quindlen used a soft hand in presenting Fran Benedetto and the issue of domestic violence in that she never appears to judge Fran or her reasons for staying. She details Fran's decision to stay with her abusive husband in numerous ways letting the conclusions fall where they may. And it presents a pretty bleak picture of the options for women in that situation.

When I was younger and thought myself much smarter, I would have been one to ask why a woman would stay with an abusive husband. Now that I'm older and have children of my own, I can see what would leave a woman feeling she had no options. And I appreciate Quindlen's slow evolution of those facts over the life of the novel.

Once Fran and her son, Robert are safely aware from Bobby and living in Florida under assumed names, the narrative started to drag a little but there was always a sinister undercurrent of when would Bobby catch up with them, because I never had any doubt this would occur. But what made the novel fall a little flat for me was the ending and how it seemed to all happen due to some decisions made by Fran which she felt were empowering, but really led to placing herself and her son in danger. Would Bobby ever hurt Robert - no I don't think so. But would Bobby's influence over Robert be equally destructive? Yes.

Additionally, I know I'm not supposed to feel sympathy for the abuser, and I do not, but he's painted as a clear psychopath in the book despite a supposed evolution into violence over time.

A chilling read that really delves into the nuances of domestic violence and its aftermath, Black and Blue was a well written, if somewhat flat story.

3/5 Stars.